


Right in Front of My Salad

by cuteandtwisted



Series: In Every Universe [10]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boysquad help Isak woo Even, Cashier Even, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Salad discourse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-06
Updated: 2017-08-06
Packaged: 2018-12-11 18:12:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11719767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuteandtwisted/pseuds/cuteandtwisted
Summary: "Let me guess. You're the type of guy who eats salad," said Isak."Among other things," Even winked..Or Isak doesn't believe in love until he meets the new cashier at the supermarket who makes him realize that vegetables aren't actually that bad.aka the salad fic some of you asked for.





	Right in Front of My Salad

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Español available: [Right in Front of My Salad](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11782986) by [Htuiba](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Htuiba/pseuds/Htuiba)



> hii. i've been meaning to write this for a while but never found the time. Then the 'Right in front of my salad' meme happened and i just kind of had to. It's just a little lighthearted thing based on a French commercial. Don't take it too seriously. But I hope you like it. It probably isn't what you think though haha.

> _ Shit to make Margaritas _
> 
> _ Shit to eat with Margaritas _

* * *

The list wasn’t very long. It was actually very short. Still, Isak hated going to the supermarket, especially when Eskild made him run errands right before a big party when he could have notified him beforehand. Isak always threw tantrums but his roommate had his ways and guilt-tripped him in front of Magnus, Jonas, and Mahdi until he couldn’t do much but comply.

“It’s your stupid party!” Isak groaned.

“Isak, I’m taking care of very important things right now,” said Eskild, holding what looked like a dildo in his right hand.

“What the fuck is that in your hand?”

“Isak,” Eskild sighed, waving the dildo to his face. “I know this whole gay thing is still very new to you as a baby gay, but I’m sure you’re familiar with dildos already.”

Magnus and Mahdi burst into laughter while Isak’s face turned ten shades pinker.

“Eskild!” Isak groaned.

“And to answer your question, we’re decorating for the party right now and this is Chris Berg’s contribution,” said Eskild. “Don’t be rude.”

“Why do I have to be at this stupid party again?” Isak sighed.

“So grumpy,” Eskild shook his head. “You know what you need Isak?”

“I don’t want to know,” Isak covered his ears and headed towards the door.

“Dick, Isak!” Eskild shouted behind him. “You need dick.”

“Shut up!”

.

The boys decided to join him for the trip to the supermarket because they weren’t done making fun of him, and Isak was only angry at them for laughing at Eskild’s nonsense for about five minutes.

“He’s not wrong though, you know,” said Jonas when it was just the two of them in the frozen meals section.

“What?” said Isak.

“You haven’t really told me about anyone lately.”

“What do you mean?”

“Like, you know,” Jonas shrugged. “Jakob and you ended things months ago and you haven’t seen anyone since.”

Isak was so mortified that he let go of the lemons he was holding and put them back in the cart.

“Jonas, no offense. But I’m not talking about boys with you,” said Isak.

“I’m just saying that you could. If you want. No pressure.”

“Thanks but no thanks.”

.

The truth was that Isak wasn’t seeing anyone because no one really held his interest long enough. He found many guys hot, sure. But that was about it. They were just hot. And as soon as they started talking, Isak felt like taking off, like going home to feed his imaginary turtle.

He still hooked up with random boys. He still did the whole Grindr thing because he was a teenage boy and teenage boys needed sex to survive. Still, he never stuck around. No one was interesting enough. No one made him feel things. No one made him want to stay in bed all day long and do nothing but stare at the ceiling and talk about the stars. No one made him want to wake a little bit earlier in the morning just to stare at their sleeping face. No one did.

The one time he gave someone a chance, he turned out to be this really nice guy that everyone quickly grew so fond of that he couldn’t break it off. Jakob. Jakob was nice. He was too nice. But Isak was bored and he couldn’t stand the long stares and awkward pauses. Jakob told him he loved him about a week into their relationship and Isak felt trapped and suffocated. There was no spark, no natural connection. He was just bored.

So after he broke his heart and angered everyone around him, including Jonas, Isak decided to stop trying to fall in love. He was just going to hook up with whoever walked his way at parties and watch some porn.

Isak was fine. He didn’t need anyone. The idea of romantic love was simply overrated. Simply unattainable. It was just that. An idea. And Isak wasn’t about entertaining man-made concepts and making his life revolve around them.

.

“Alright, we got chips and cheese and other gross stuff. Do you guys have everything?” said Mahdi.

“Yeah we got beer, frozen pizza, stuff to eat with Margaritas, more frozen shit, and more gross stuff,” said Jonas.

.

They had all chipped in and given the money to Isak because he already had Eskild’s. He moved behind the person checking out before them while the boys laid down the items on the conveyor belt.

“Why did you get so much frozen shit?” said Magnus.

“That’s all Isak eats. He just microwaves stuff cause he’s lazy,” said Jonas.

“Excuse me, but I don’t have time to stare at kitchen utensils. I need the instant gratification,” said Isak. “And I don’t live with mommy who cooks me stuff.”

“Bro, did you have to bring up the mommy stuff,” said Mahdi.

“Yes, I did,” Isak laughed, remembering the one time Mahdi referred to his mother as mommy.

“You should try cooking sometime, Isak. We want you to stick around and live a long life,” said Magnus. “I need my group to stay diverse.”

“Bro, Isak is white,” said Mahdi.

“Yes, but he’s gay,” said Magnus.

“What the fuck is this conversation?” said Jonas.

“What?”

“Magnus, having a diverse group of friends won’t make it any easier for you to get laid,” said Isak, snorting.

“Alright, you know what? I can do without a gay guy in my group actually,” said Magnus.

“That’s mad rude,” said Jonas.

Isak shrugged and was about to reply when a deep voice greeted him, making his head almost snap as he turned around.

“Hello, welcome to MENY. Hope you found everything okay,” said the cashier.

_ Oh. Hi. _

He was kind of really hot and Isak had to take a step back and blink a few times.  _ Hi. _

He was absolutely gorgeous despite the silly uniform and he was smiling so beautifully. Isak almost forgot that it was probably part of his job. His blonde hair was styled into a quiff but it still looked soft, so soft. Isak wanted to touch it. His eyes were blue, so blue, and his smile was way too warm and welcoming for a cashier.

“Uh, hi,” Isak stuttered, feeling a blush creep its way to his cheeks. “Yeah, thank you.”

“I’m glad you did.”

The cashier,  _ Even  _ according to his name tag, gave him another smile then started processing their cart. Isak watched his face fall as soon as he started scanning the items. Even almost winced when he scanned the frozen mac and cheese and the huge bottle of ketchup Isak had insisted on getting and Isak was growing nervous by the second.

This cashier was clearly judging him and what he was buying, and for some reason Isak wasn’t even offended. He almost wanted to  _ please  _ him, and he started looking forward to his reaction to the carrots.

“Nice,” said Even, smiling as he held the bag of carrots in his hand.

The carrots weren’t even for them. They were for Sana. Still, Isak probably felt like Vilde’s puppy whenever she called him a ‘good boy’. He was smiling and he felt proud. He felt proud because a hot but judgemental cashier thought it was cool of him to buy carrots.

_ What the fuck. _

The boys had stopped laughing in the background. And it took Isak a second to realize that they were just observing the scene before them. It took him even longer to understand why Mahdi was gesturing for him to wipe drool off the corner of his mouth.

“Oh, fuck off,” Isak muttered, feeling even more embarrassed.

“Hm?” said Even.

“Oh, no! Not you,” said Isak. “Sorry. My friends are dicks.”

He was so nervous. It was ridiculous.

“It’s alright,” said Even, chuckling. “They’re right though.”

“What?” said Isak.

“About the frozen food.”

“Oh.”

“It’s not good for you,” said Even.

“Let me guess. You’re the type of guy who eats salads?” said Isak.

“Among other things,” Even winked.  _ He WINKED. _

Isak was absolutely taken aback. He had no idea what to say.  _ Think of something. Think of something. _

“Uh, are you vegan by any chance?” said Isak, immediately regretting his words.

“No. Why? Are you?” said Even.

“No. What the fuck?”

“Why are you offended?” Even laughed, tilting his head to the side and scrunching his nose.

_ Why are you doing that. Stop that. _

“I’m not. I, uh, I just really like meat.”

“We been knew, Isak,” said Mahdi.

Magnus burst into laughter in such an obnoxious way that Isak felt like punching him.

“Oh my god,” Isak’s face was flushed now, probably. He was feeling hot all over.

But Even was laughing now and his blue eyes were nowhere to be seen. They had crinkled by the corners and Isak smiled too because he was so dreamy, so beautiful.

“Well, Isak. I like meat, too,” said Even, looking him in the eyes and smirking.

“Oh my god!” Magnus screeched. “Is this really happening?”

“Mags, come with me,” said Jonas, dragging him away by the arm. “Mahdi, help Isak with the bags. We’ll be outside.”

_ Jonas Noah Vasquez. My lord. My savior. My salvation. The one and only. _

“I think I’m in love,” said Even.

_ What? _

“What?!” said Isak.

“What?!” said Mahdi.

Even laughed then handed Isak the post-it that said _ ‘Shit to make Margaritas. Shit to eat with Margaritas.’  _ He must have dropped it in the cart with the groceries.

“Oh,” Isak let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “My roommate wrote that.”

“Your roommate must be funny,” said Even.

“Yeah.”

Isak felt like a complete loser. All of his game had somehow evaporated. He was more confident than this. He was so much more confident. He had game and he usually made moves.

“Uh, what time do you get off?” said Isak.

_ Shit. Fuck. What the fuck brain. What the fkdlhdklldfjkd. _

“Oh,” Even gasped.

“Uh. I mean. Uh. we’re having a party not too far from here. If, uh, you want to join? I don’t know. Like later? Uh. If you want to meet my roommate,” Isak mentally punched himself in the face.

Even looked at him with a puzzled expression.

_ You should have asked him for his fucking last name and added him on Facebook or something, you fucking loser. _

“Uh. Thank you for the invite. But I have other plans tonight unfortunately,” said Even, his warm smile back on his lips.  _ His lips.  _ They were so full and so generous and looked so kissable.  _ Gosh. _

“It’s totally fine,” Isak chuckled nervously. “It was a joke. Because you said you were in love, you know, with my roommate.”

_ This is a total disaster. _

* * *

**Diverse group**

**21:18**

Mahdi: guys. Isak is totally embarrassing himself with the hot cashier right now lmfao

Magnus: fkjkjdf. Record it!! Post it on snapchat kfjdk

* * *

Isak looked at this phone and sighed. He had to fix this mess and get some of his pride back.

“Uh-.”

“Your total is 475.74 kroner,” said Even, feeling like a slap to the face.

“What the fuck?” said Mahdi. “Your frozen crap is so expensive, Isak!”

Isak pulled out the money feeling like an absolute failure. He had never attempted to flirt with anyone in front of his friends and he never thought it would go down this way. He usually blew people off, not the other way around.  _ Goddammit. _

“Your change is 4.26 kroner,” said Even, handing him money back and smiling. “Thank you for shopping at MENY and have fun at your party tonight.”

“Thanks dude,” said Isak, feeling completely defeated and gathering the bags.

“Don’t eat too much frozen pizza,” Even smiled.

.

Isak remained grumpy and irritated the entire night. He couldn’t believe it. And of course the boys told everyone that he failed miserably at getting a hot guy to come to his party. Isak felt like locking himself in his room and moping for the rest of the night, but Jonas found him before he could sneak out.

“Hey,” said Jonas, settling in the couch beside him.

“I’m usually really good at that stuff. Just so you know,” said Isak.

“What stuff?”

“Getting hot guys.”

Jonas laughed so genuinely that Isak couldn’t help but join him.

“I know,” said Jonas.

“I feel like shit,” Isak admitted.

“I think you should go back there.”

“What?”

“To the supermarket. Alone. Tomorrow or something,” said Jonas.

“Why?”

“He looked interested.”

“He blew me off,” said Isak.

“Just my two cents,” said Jonas.

.

Isak went back two days later and was disappointed to see that Even was nowhere to be found. He probably had defined work hours and wasn’t just going to be there when Isak finally made up his mind.

_ Ugh. _

.

A week or so went by and Isak had stopped obsessing over salad-eating Even. His heart didn’t even race when he crossed the door of the supermarket with the boys this time. They were going to buy some junk food and go to Jonas’ place. Isak was fine.

“Holy shit, guys!” Magnus screeched. “Isak’s crush is here!”

“He is NOT my crush!”

.

Isak couldn’t really focus on filling up his cart. He was so nervous thinking about interacting with Even.  _ Even.  _ Even who was nowhere to be found on social media. Isak had spent countless hours looking him up online. No trace whatsoever.

Isak was standing by the fridges in the frozen area, his fingers around the handle, but he couldn’t bring himself to get anything.

.

“Who the fuck got a giant lettuce?” said Magnus as they got to the checkout line.

“Shut up,” Isak mumbled.

Isak was nervous and he didn’t think he had ever bought romaine lettuce before. He didn’t even know how it was supposed to be chopped or if it was supposed to be washed. He didn’t really care. He probably wasn’t going to eat it anyways. He had grabbed it in a total moment of panic.

.

“Hello Isak,” said Even, his smile as blinding as ever.

_ He remembers my name. Oh my god. _

“Hello Even. You remember my name,” said Isak very calmly.

“Of course,” Even smiled again. “It would be hard not to.”

“This is adorable,” Magnus sighed behind him, earning himself an elbow to the ribs.

Even scanned the items very slowly and Isak was fidgeting with anticipation.

“This is a very big lettuce,” said Even, chuckling.

“Uh, I like having big things go inside me,” said Isak, punching himself in the face in his head.

“Oh my fucking god!” Magnus yelled behind him while Mahdi or Jonas was choking in the background.

Isak wasn’t sure who exactly because he was too busy watching Even’s reaction. He looked completely taken aback.

“Uh, I mean, like food. Like I like having big things in my mouth. Like, uh, you know,” Isak stuttered.

“Bro, stop talking,” Jonas who had mysteriously made his way to Isak’s side whispered into his ear.

_ Oh god. _

But Even was laughing now and it was so endearing that Isak didn’t even mind making a fool out of himself.

“I’m a total moron. Sorry,” said Isak.

“Not at all. I like having big things in my mouth, too. Well, size doesn’t really matter, you know. I don’t discriminate like that. Big, small, medium, doesn’t matter. As long as I have something in my mouth,” said Even.

_ Oh my. _

“Big. Definitely big,” said Isak. “For me. I mean. I’m big.”

“This is the most fucked up conversation I’ve ever witnessed,” said Mahdi. “Holy shit.”

.

“ _ I’m big” _ Really bro? What the fuck?” said Magnus.

“I fucking panicked, okay!” Isak groaned in frustration.

“Lucky for you he seems as fucked up as you,” said Mahdi.

“Shut up.”

“‘As long as I have things in my mouth’. Like wow. He’s good,” said Jonas.

“Ugh!”

“Why didn’t you ask him out?” said Jonas.

“I fucking panicked!”

“Let’s come back tomorrow,” said Magnus.

“Let’s figure out what to do with this lettuce first,” said Mahdi.

They made salad that night and the dressing was absolutely awful. Still, Isak learned how to wash lettuce by consulting Youtube and Eskild ordered him a salad spinner.

.

And so it became a thing. Isak would go to the supermarket whenever he could, but would only find Even when the boys went with him. They would buy the most random stuff then Isak would stare at Even and blush whenever they locked eyes.

“Perhaps, ask for his schedule?” said Mahdi.

“I’m gonna look like a creep,” said Isak.

“Well, you’re trying to get into this guy’s pants. The least you could do is know what time he gets off work.”

“He’s not trying to get into his pants,” said Magnus. “Isak is literally in love. He’s been buying salad and shit lately.”

“Shut up. I’m not in love!”

.

Alright, Isak was a little bit enamored. He laughed whenever Even said anything at all while checking them out. He smiled like an idiot the entire time and kept buying the most random things just to make the checkout last longer. Even took his time, too. Scanning the items very slowly and smiling whenever their eyes met.

The boys started volunteering to do grocery shopping for their parents just to give Isak more time with Even. And if Isak weren’t a _ stone cold bitch _ , he would have hugged them.

.

“Nice,” said Even as he scanned the cardamom.  

Isak had no idea what cardamom was or what it was used for.

“Yeah,” said Isak, grinning.

“Although,” Even grabbed the bottle of ketchup and raised his eyebrows.

“Oh come on,” Isak laughed.

“I’m joking. I hope you know that I don’t judge what you buy. I'll actually get fired if I judge what you buy.”

“Yeah, well. You did roll your eyes at my bag of cheetos and cans of RedBull the other day,” said Isak.

“That’s because I want you to stay alive, Isak,” Even smiled.

“That’s also called judging what I buy.”

“I’m sorry if that’s how I come across. I will stop having facial expressions when scanning your items from now on.”

“Good,” said Isak.

_ Is this.. Angst? _

Even scanned the vegetables and didn’t even react when he got to broccoli and Brussels sprouts.

“You’re not gonna say anything?” said Isak, his foot lightly tapping the floor.

“You said you didn’t like me judging what you buy,” said Even.

“You can judge positively.”

“That’s not how it works, Isak,” Even smiled.

“Oh come on! I got Brussels sprouts! I didn’t even know what they were before today.”

Even laughed.

“Nice. They’re delicious and I think you will enjoy them. We have a really great range of bio products.”

“Uh. Ok.”

.

“He still treats me like a fucking customer,” said Isak, frustrated and pulling at his own hair.

“Well it’s kind of his job to pitch the supermarket’s crap,” said Jonas.

“Ugh. I don't even know why I care."

"You like him. You have a crush. It's nice," said Jonas.

"I do not have a crush."

"Isak.."

"Okay fine. I have a crush on him. Fuck it," Isak sighed.

Jonas didn't even react. He just asked him if he wanted to cook.

“I don’t know how to cook.”

“Me neither.”

.

They almost burned the apartment down a few times and it took them a lot of time but they managed to make a meal that didn’t taste like death on their ninth try.

Isak was quite proud of his chicken alfredo that probably didn’t taste like chicken alfredo.

.

Isak got better at cooking. It took several weeks, several video tutorials, and Sana’s boyfriend Yousef giving him cooking classes. But he was getting there.

“Who are you and what have you done to Isak Valtersen?” said Noora when she got back from London.

“Ugh.”

“Baby gay Isak has a condescending crush who called him gross for eating shit all the time,” said Eskild, one hand playing with his curls.

“He did not call me gross!” said Isak, slapping his hand away.

“He sounds like an asshole,” said Noora.

“You’re the last person who should be talking about assholes,” said Isak.

“What?” said Eskild. “Why? Cause she’s not a gay man? She might still be into that, you know.”

“What the fuck!” Isak shrieked. “I meant assholes figuratively. Like her boyfriend William.”

“Anyways, he’s very desperate and very grumpy and his crush is apparently very hot,” said Eskild.

“Are you gonna break his heart like you did to Jakob?” said Noora.

“Oh my god!” Isak groaned. “Can everyone just get over fucking Jakob already?!”

.

Isak tried his luck and went to the supermarket by himself one day. He had spent an extra thirty minutes fixing his hair. He usually had it in a snapback, so he thought he would just set it free for the day. Still, it was a mess and he needed a trim really badly.

Since his hair wasn’t cooperating, he put on his tightest jeans hoping it would get more attention. Well, perhaps, if he made sure to bend over to empty his cart.  _ What am I doing. _

.

No Even.

Isak was a little bit disappointed and thought about leaving altogether, but he was already in front of the vegetables and fruits section, so he thought he could learn a thing or two.

Isak had no idea what to get and several vegetables actually looked the same. Now that he thought about it, he could probably only name five vegetables at the top of his head.

He awkwardly watched a woman who looked like she knew what she was doing and took notes of her shopping habits. She stopped in front of a small melon and smelled it. It looked like it smelled nice. So when she left, Isak followed suit and picked up a melon to smell it.

_ Oh wow. _

Isak put the melon in his cart, then came back to grab two more. He had no idea fruits could smell so good. Perhaps, it was because he never got to grow up in a stable environment with food on the table every night. Perhaps, it was because his mother never cooked him anything because she was too busy surviving the day.  _ Yeah perhaps. _

Isak was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t pay attention to his cashier.

“Hello Isak,” said the one voice that haunted all of his dreams.

“Oh,” Isak nearly dropped his phone. “Even. Hi.”

“Fancy seeing you today,” said Even.

“I didn’t think you were here.”

“I just started my shift,” said Even, smiling. “Why? Didn’t want to see me?”

“Quite the opposite actually,” said Isak, beaming and feeling slightly more confident now that the boys weren’t around.

“You wanted to see me?”

“Yes,” said Isak, leaning awkwardly to get items off his cart without breaking eye contact with Even.

“Why?” said Even.

“You’re very good at what you do. By far my favorite cashier,” said Isak.

“Oh really?” Even laughed. “Why am I so good?”

“I don’t know. Must be your long fingers when you scan my items.”

“My long fingers?”

“Yeah, the way you're grabbing my cucumber right now for example,” said Isak. “It’s a strong hold but it’s still gentle. Like I can totally trust you with my cucumber unlike with other cashiers.”

Even was laughing so hard that Isak was tempted to pull out his phone and record it. It was so endearing. It was so adorable. It filled his chest with so much happiness.

“I’m glad you trust me with your cucumber, Isak,” said Even.

“Yeah you can grab it anytime,” Isak grinned.

“Oh my god,” Even brought a hand to his own face and it was the cutest thing.

_ I’ll say the dumbest shit to make you smile. _

“Even!” said an older woman with long dark hair wearing the same uniform.

She must have been his manager.  _ Shit. _

“Sorry,” Even blurted out.

He wasn’t laughing anymore and Isak felt bad. What if his manager heard Isak basically asking Even to touch his dick?

“Sorry,” Isak whispered.

“Don’t worry about it,” Even smiled. “Sometimes I forget that I’m working when I’m with you.”

_ When you’re with me. _

_ Gosh, I want you. _

“What time do you get off?” Isak blurted out.

“What?”

“Uh. Shit. I mean. Uh. What’s your last name or your facebook or something? I can’t find you anywhere,” said Isak.

“Why do you want to find me?” said Even.

“Because I have this very big heist I’m working on and I’m recruiting. Why do you think? Because I want to get to know you,” said Isak, his heart beating erratically in his chest.

“Why would you want to get to know me?” said Even, and there was something unbelievably sad in his words, as if he genuinely believed he wasn’t worth anyone’s time.

“Do I need a reason?” said Isak.

“I don’t do one night stands.”

_ What the fuck. _

“I don’t want to fuck,” said Isak.  _ If we’re being crude. Might as well. _

“I, uh.”

“I mean I do, obviously. But that’s not why. You don’t change your diet for someone you want to sleep with.”

“Then why?”

“I don’t know, I just do,” said Isak.

Even stared at him with big sad eyes and Isak wanted to give him a hug. He was so gorgeous and so hot and so nice, but somehow, he had no self-confidence. Somehow, he refused to believe that someone wanted to spend time with him and get to know him.

“I’m bipolar.”

“What?”

“I’m bipolar,” Even repeated, looking into his eyes with so much intensity that Isak felt overwhelmed.

“If you want to turn me down, just do it. You don’t have to-”

“It’s kind of hurtful that you would assume I would lie about something like that to turn you down,” said Even.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“I’m mentally ill. It tends to drive people away. I just wanted you to know before this got any messier,” said Even.

“Oh, uh-”

Isak didn’t know what to say. He was virtually tongue tied. He didn’t know how to react to this piece of information. So he just didn't say anything.

“Your total is 211.21 kroner,” said Even.

.

“Let’s go see Even,” said Magnus. “My mom needs some hair product from the supermarket.”

“I don’t want to go,” Isak groaned, rolling around in bed.

“What? What do you mean you don’t want to go?”

“I just don’t.”

The silence was a little bit suffocating and Isak knew what it meant.

“Did Even turn you down?” said Mahdi.

“Shut up,” Jonas groaned.

“No. I don’t know. It’s weird,” said Isak.

“What?”

“He’s bipolar,” said Isak.

.

Isak thought about it long and hard. He didn’t know what it meant or how hard it was, so he googled it and read about it. And after a few hours in front of his computer, he realized that he truly had no idea what bipolar was before. Most things he knew, he either lived or watched on TV.

He knew that Magnus’ mother was also bipolar. But he only knew her as the warm lady who made the best pasta and who cracked the best jokes. He didn’t know any more than that. His own mother was mentally ill but had a completely different diagnosis and it had taken Isak so much time to come to terms with it. All Isak had left was fiction.

He quickly realized that most characters depicted as having bipolar on TV were never the main ones and were often depicted as ‘unstable and crazy’. It kind of broke his heart.

He remembered how sad Even looked when he told him with a few people waiting in line behind him. How he waited for Isak to say something, anything, and how Isak never did.

_ Shit. _

.

Isak didn’t go back to MENY because he didn’t know what to say. He felt awful but he started going to KIWI, another market. He still bought vegetables and fruits now though. He had learned to love the taste and it was tough going back.

.

“Bro, no offense but you’re a piece of shit,” said Magnus.

“What?”

“I went to the supermarket today and I saw Even.”

“Oh,” Isak’s eyes went wide and his heart hurt.

“He asked about you,” said Magnus.

“He did?”

“Yeah and he was smiling, too. I don’t know how he does it.”

Isak hugged his pillow and closed his eyes.  _ I’m a fucking asshole. _

“You know, I get that you’re free to be with whoever you want and that you had it tough at home with your mother’s condition, but shutting Even out because he’s bipolar is kind of very fucked up, even for you,” said Magnus.

“I did not shut him out.”

“He was probably fucking terrified when he told you. He probably likes you a lot to trust you with something like that and you just stopped showing up,” said Magnus. “I’m like fucking offended and not just because my mom is bipolar.”

“I just don’t know how to deal with this,” Isak sighed.

“You’re a dick. He's bipolar not an alien.”

“I don’t know what to fucking do! I can't go to the supermarket because I don't want to hurt him any further. And I know I'm a dick but I'm not good with words. I just don't know what to do but trust me, I feel like shit about it and I want to say sorry.”

“Text him,” said Magnus.

“I don’t have his number.”

“Oh, I do,” said Magnus.

“What?!”

“Yeah I asked him for his number like a month ago or something. He’s a cool dude.”

“Magnus are you telling me you’ve had his number for an entire fucking month?!” Isak shouted.

* * *

**Even**

**22:19**

Hello Even. This is Isak. Your favorite customer at MENY

Magnus gave me your number. Hope it’s okay

Just wanted to check how you’re doing :)

11:34

Hey it’s me again. You don’t have to answer

I know I probably hurt you and you hate me

Just know that I’m sorry

And that it doesn’t matter to me

That you’re bipolar I mean

it doesn't change anything for me

18:28

I stopped by the supermarket and couldn’t find you

Did you change your work hours?

* * *

Isak was about to give up. Even wasn’t answering his texts which was completely understandable, but still. Isak couldn’t focus on much. So when Eskild asked him to come with him to the supermarket, he absentmindedly accepted. He knew Even didn’t work those hours, so  _ whatever. _

.

“What the fuck, Eskild!” Isak shrieked as Eskild put lube and condoms in their shopping cart.

“What? I ran out of stuff.”

“Don’t buy this shit when I’m out with you!”

“Why not? Scared the cashier might assume we’re together?” said Eskild.

“Exactly!”

“Now that’s just hurtful,” said Eskild, pouting.

“Piss off.”

“You really need dick. Like as soon as possible.”

.

_ Oh god. Fuck my life. _

Even was right there. He was right there and Isak wanted to run but Eskild would probably put two and two together.

“Let’s go there,” said Isak.

“That line is super long. Let’s stay here,” said Eskild.

“It’s a family though. They’ll pay together and we’ll checkout quicker.”

“Where do you see a family? It’s three women.”

“That’s very fucked up coming from you, Eskild. Three women can be a family. Let's go.”

“Isabelle, I want to stay here,” said Eskild.

“I told you not to call me that!” Isak groaned.

“What? I think it’s a cute nickname. Besides, the cashier in this line is fucking hot. Look at him.”

“Ugh!”

.

“Hello, welcome to MENY. Hope you found everything al-”

Even stopped talking when his eyes landed on Isak, Isak who wished he could disappear.

“Hello, Even,” said Isak. “How are you?”

“Even? Wait,” said Eskild. “Wait! Oh my god! It’s him? He’s the hottie you’ve been-”

Isak shoved his hands in Eskild’s face to shut him up.

“Don’t listen to him,” said Isak, turning his attention back to Even.

“All good. And I’m doing great,” said Even.

But he didn’t smile. Even always smiled.

He scanned their items very quickly and Isak saw him wince when he grabbed the condoms and the lube.  _ I hate everything. _

“Thank you for shopping at MENY. Hope you have a great evening,” said Even.

.

Isak threw himself on the couch face first.

“I hate everything,” he groaned.

“You’re so dramatic,” said Eskild. “Just buy him flowers and apologize or something.”

“He hates me.”

“He’s too hot for you to be second-guessing yourself. Just go apologize.”

.

“What’s the game plan here?” said Mahdi.

“There’s no game plan. I’m gonna go to Even’s register to apologize and you guys should keep bringing shit until I’m done talking to him,” said Isak.

“So like you’ll stand by the register with him while he scans our shit?”

“Yes.”

“I asked the girls to help,” said Magnus.

“Why would you do that?!”

“The more the merrier.”

The entire gang showed up to the supermarket. Everyone grabbed a cart and filled it with groceries and they all lined up behind Even’s line.

.

“Hello welcome to MENY-”

“Oh my fucking god, you’re so hot!” said Chris berg.

“Dammit!” Isak groaned. “Hi Even.”

“Uh. Hi, Isak,” said Even.

“I want to talk to you.”

“I’m working. People will get angry.”

“I know all these people. They won’t mind. And you can scan stuff while I talk,” said Isak.

“Uh. Ok.”

“I’m sorry for disappearing when you told me you’re bipolar and for not saying anything that night,” said Isak.

“It’s okay,” said Even, scanning Chris’ popsicles. “Everyone reacts like that. I don’t blame you.”

“I don’t want to be like everyone,” said Isak.

“It’s okay.”

“No. It’s true. It was very shitty of me. And I know this is a weird place to have a heart to heart but my mom is mentally ill and I never handled it very well. My childhood sob story kinda played into it. I'm sorry,” said Isak.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I just freaked out and I made it about me and I get that you hate me,” said Isak.

“I don’t hate you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah really,” said Even.

Even scanned the rest of Chris’ items, then smiled at Vilde who greeted him with the biggest smile. Isak just stood there awkwardly because he had initially expected that he would have to put on a fight, that Even was going to ask him to leave him alone. But he never did. So he just stood there as his friends stared at Even dreamily.

“You brought all of these people here to talk to me?” said Even.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because I wanted you to hear me out,” said Isak. “But I don’t want you to get fired.”

“Very thoughtful of you,” said Even, smiling.  _ He smiled. Yes. _

“I’m a very thoughtful guy.”

“Clearly.”

“Was that sarcastic?” said Isak.

“No, of course not.”

They stood there and just exchanged smiles until all of his friends had finished checking out.

“Well, this was certainly very nice. I’m glad I know all of you friends by name,” said Even.

“Yeah, me too,” said Isak.

"Thanks for apologizing and stuff."

"I meant what I said in my texts," said Isak. "It doesn't change anything for me. I'll still take you out if you feel like giving me a chance."

"I'll think about it," said Even. "But thank you. It means a lot."

_ Ouch.  _

“Thank you for shopping at MENY. And I hope to see you soon,” Even told everyone.

“He’s so sweet,” Eva swooned.

“Mine!” Isak muttered in her direction.

.

Isak went home feeling a little bit better and with way too many fruits and vegetables than he needed. Even didn’t give him anything other than smiles but Isak was still beyond happy.

.

Isak went to the supermarket every day and bought the silliest things just to get a glimpse of Even like some lovesick fool. He thought that if he showed up every day and showed just how much he meant his words, perhaps Even would finally give in and give him a shot. Maybe. 

“An apple?” said Even, beaming.

“It’s a healthy snack,” Isak shrugged.

“It is,” said Even. “But you came all the way here for one apple?”

“No, I came all the way here for you,” Isak smiled. “I wanted to see you.”

“What for?” Even titled his head to the side, still smiling.

“Just want to look at your face.”

“What about my face?”

“It’s a pretty face. I love looking at your face,” said Isak.

"I love looking at your face, too," said Even. 

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Isak was so happy that he couldn't help the huge grin on his face. 

"Why do you look so surprised?" said Even.

"I don't know. But sometimes I feel like I'm chasing air and like you don't want me like I want you," said Isak.

Even seemed a bit taken aback by Isak’s answer. 

“What?” said Isak.

“I think it’s time for my break,” said Even.

“Your break?”

“Robin, can you cover for me?” said Even, shouting in some guy’s direction.

“Where are you going?” said Robin.

“I’ll be back in 10.”

“Come on,” said Even, grabbing his hand and making his heart skip a beat.

“Where?” said Isak, feeling a little bit disoriented, a little bit overwhelmed finally feeling Even’s touch.

“Somewhere I don’t have to pretend I don’t want you.”

.

“Even-”

Even led him to an alley that smelled like cigarettes behind the supermarket and pressed him against the wall. Isak’s heart was about to leap out of his chest.

“Isak,” Even’s fingers found Isak’s hips and pressed against his flesh, making him moan.

“Oh god..”

“Do you have any idea what you do to me?” Even whispered in his ear, his breath hot and heavy against Isak’s neck.

“Where is this coming from, oh my-”

“You’re so fucking hot,” said Even, one hand on Isak’s hip and the other cupping his face.

He had massive hands and they felt so good on him.

“You always treat me like a customer. How would I know-”

“Baby, I don’t want to get fired,” said Even, brushing his nose against Isak’s jaw, making his head spin. “I can’t flirt with people when I’m working.”

Isak wanted to say something but words weren’t flowing to his brain, not when Even had him pinned to the wall, their bodies flushed together, not when Isak’s pants were getting tighter and his face even more flushed.

“Isak?”

“Kiss me,” said Isak, his eyelids heavy and his heart beating in his throat.

“This isn’t a very romantic place to have our first kiss-”

Isak kissed him first because he was done waiting, because he did not want to wait anymore, because according to his calculations, Even had another six minutes before he had to head back to work.

So he threaded his fingers through Even’s incredibly soft hair,  _ finally,  _ and pressed their lips together with all the want and lust and sweetness he could muster.

And  _ what a kiss.  _ Even’s lips were big and full and overwhelming. He kissed Isak like he wanted to wreck him, and it almost felt like a sob, almost as if he had been waiting for this even longer than Isak. It was desperate and sloppy and wet and breathy, but Isak couldn’t care less. He parted his lips and his knees nearly gave out when he felt Even’s tongue against his own.  _ Tongue. _

Isak could tell that Even was a generous lover. He could tell that he was passionate and romantic and he could tell that he was going to make him lose his  _ damn  _ mind. Isak could tell because Even’s touch was both tender and strong, and every brush of his tongue made him want to write at least five songs and run ten to twenty kilometers.

So Isak met him halfway and rolled his hips against Even’s and arched his back like he didn’t know any better. Isak moaned into his mouth and pulled his hair and his head was spinning, spinning, spinning.

“Oh my god,” he panted.

“Fuck, baby,” Even kissed his neck.

“You kill me when you call me that,” said Isak, his chest heaving.

“What? Baby?”

“Mhm.”

“Baby,” Even smiled before cupping his face again and giving him a quick peck on the lips.

Isak dragged back down for another kiss, this time locking both arms around Even’s neck and breathing him in.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” said Isak.

“Me too.”

They kept kissing until it was time for Even to go back to work.

“Don’t go,” Isak pouted.

“I have to.”

“Please,” Isak’s fingers pulled at the end of Even’s shirt.

“Oh god, don’t do that thing with your eyes,” said Even.

“What thing?”

“Look at me like a puppy.”

“I would never,” Isak laughed.

“You’re so fucking cute,” said Even, his hands on his cheeks again, his lips on his own again.

“Mhm,” Isak into the kiss.

“I have to go,” said Even.

“Okay,” Isak panted.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Isak repeated, pressing another stupid kiss to his lips.

“I can’t go if you keep kissing me.”

“Who gave you lips like that?” said Isak. “Just who?”

Even laughed then kissed him again before taking a step back.

“I’ll text you,” said Even.

“Will you?”

“Yeah. I will.”

“If you don’t I’ll just come here,” said Isak. “Just saying.”

“You’re already exhibiting very clingy behavior. Maybe this is a mistake,” said Even.

“Asshole,” Isak groaned.

“Come here,” said Even, before pulling him by the waist and kissing him again.

_ Oh my god.  _ Isak’s brain and heart and body were on fire.

“So sweet. You’re so sweet,” said Even, bumping their noses together.

“I’m not sweet,” Isak breathed.

“You’re the sweetest,” said Even, before pressing a kiss to his forehead, making him melt and nearly mewl.

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

* * *

**Even**

**16:17**

That was…

Incredible

Even it’s been 10 minutes

17 minutes. It’s been 17 minutes

And here I thought you were gonna play hard to get

Never

You never replied to my texts

You’re my favorite customer i couldn’t risk severing that relationship

I had to think hard about it

Shut up

It’s difficult to go from customer/cashier to lovers

There’s no going back

What do you mean lovers

lov·er

ˈləvər/

_ noun _

plural noun:  **lovers**

  1. a person having a sexual or romantic relationship with someone, often outside marriage.



Sexual or romantic

I’m not sure about either

We can fix both

Come over tonight?

I have no idea where you live

I’ll text you my address

Do you have roommates?

No why?

I moan like a bitch

Isak omg

:p

Me too actually

Match made in heaven

* * *

Isak went to Even’s place and he didn’t have roommates as promised. However, he had parents. Even lived with his parents, and Isak felt very awkward when Even’s mother offered to take his plastic bag which actually contained lube and condoms.

Isak was mortified but Even couldn’t stop laughing.

“Oh my god. I hate you,” Isak groaned.

“Your face!”

“You said you didn’t have roommates!”

“My parents are not my roommates,” said Even.

“Oh my god. Do you think she looked inside the bag. I’m so fucking mortified.”

“It’s okay. She’s probably happy that we’re thinking of having safe sex,” said Even.

“Shut up!” said Isak, shoving him in the shoulder, his face completely flushed.

But then Even’s fingers curled around his wrist and he brought him down to the bed with him. Isak was now lying on Even’s chest in his bed, and Even’s eyes were so blue.

“Hi,” said Even, brushing his thumb against Isak’s cheekbone, making him close his eyes at the contact.

“Hi,” Isak replied sheepishly, his heart beating way too fast.

“Wanna make out?” said Even.

Isak nodded then curled into Even the moment their lips were pressed together.

They didn’t have sex and they didn’t do much but kiss and make out. But still, Isak felt so content. His heart felt so full. He wasn’t even mad about the problem between his legs because everything was so soft and so slow and so pure and perfect. Isak reveled in that softness. He closed his eyes and felt all the grumpiness and sarcasm and sharp edges leave his body and mind. He folded himself in Even’s arms, parted his lips, and moaned whenever Even kissed him too hard or too soft.

_ So soft. _

“You’re so sweet,” said Even, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead.

“You’re killing me,” said Isak.

.

Even dragged him to the kitchen and cooked them dinner, and Isak observed with very careful eyes.

“You look concentrated,” said Even.

“I’m memorizing the steps to your dish,” said Isak. “I cook now.”

“You do?”

“Yes.”

“You heat frozen pizza?” said Even, smiling.

“Shut up. I cook actual food now.”

“I would love to have some.”

“You can,” said Isak, feeling a little bit embarrassed again. “If you want. If you want to come over or something.”

“I would love that,” said Even.

“By the way the guy I was with the other day when we got condoms and stuff was my roommate.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” said Isak. “He will harass you if you come over though. He’s a bit too much.”

“Sounds like my kind of people,” Even smiled.

“Whatever,” Isak rolled his eyes.

“Speaking of our past checkout experiences. Did you ever eat that giant lettuce?”

“As a matter of fact, I did,” said Isak. “I eat salad too, now.”

“It looked like you had no idea what you were going to do with it,” said Even. “Like you picked it up to impress me.”

“Uh. That’s partly true cause you’re condescending judgemental dude who doesn’t eat pizza,” said Isak.

“Oh I eat pizza. I fucking love pizza,” said Even. “I love everything. I eat everything.”

“Why does this sound like a pansexual slogan?” said Isak.

Even burst into laughter, clapping his hands together, and throwing his head backwards. He was absolutely gorgeous.

“Gosh, you’re beautiful,” Isak blurted out.

“Hm?” Even wasn’t done laughing. “What was that?”

“I said you’re beautiful.”

Even smiled and tilted his head to the side before walking over to Isak and placing both hands on his hips.

“No.  _ You _ ’re beautiful, baby,” said Even, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

“We can both be beautiful,” said Isak, smiling.

“Yeah, we can do that.”

.

“What the fuck is this?” said Magnus.

“This is salad,” said Isak.

“Why is there salad on my plate?”

“Because we’re having lunch and you need food on your plate for lunch,” said Isak.

“Isak. Salad is not food,” said Magnus.

“Weren’t you the one who said I should eat healthy and live long?”

“I didn’t mean fucking salad!”

“Just taste it. It’s actually pretty great. All vegetables are fresh, too. I cut them myself. Did the dressing, too,” said Isak.

“Yeah. No, thank you.”

.

"Holy shit. This is actually amazing," said Magnus.

"I know."

.

“Hi bby,” said Even, planting a kiss that lasted a little too long to Isak’s lips.

Even spent most of his nights in Isak’s apartment now.

“Hi,” Isak smiled although his head was spinning. He could never get used to this feeling. “How was your day?”

“I quit my job at the supermarket,” said Even, heading to the fridge to put some groceries there.

“What?”

“Yeah. I need to focus on uni and I don’t have that kind of time anymore,” said Even. “I saved up some money though so I won’t suffer too much.”

“Oh. But I thought you liked the job,” said Isak.

“I did. I was actually gonna quit a few months ago but I stayed.”

“Really? Why did you?” said Isak.

“You know why,” Even smiled.

“Oh.”

“A cute boy walked in and turned my life upside down,” said Even.

_ Gosh. _

"But you never made a move. I basically had to chase you," said Isak.

"I had just gotten out of a bad relationship," said Even. "It kind of left me fucked up and I didn't want to ruin your life and stuff."

"What do you mean ruin my life?"

"I don't know. It's just. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve you. Like I'm just gonna hurt you," said Even. 

"Don't say that. That's bullshit," said Isak, pulling him down for a kiss.

"Yeah?" said Even.

"Yeah, no one's hurting anyone," said Isak. "I can't believe you stayed at your job just so you could watch me embarrass myself every day."

"I noticed you even before you stopped at my register. I watched you sometimes and hoped you would pick my lane."

_oh gosh._

"I don't believe you," said Isak.

"I wanted you so bad," said Even. 

“You can’t say shit like that,” said Isak, his heart feeling full, so full.

“Why not?” said Even, his fingers finding his skin under his shirt. “Are you feeling overwhelmed, baby?”

“Stop,” Isak nearly moaned.

Even leaned in and kissed him on the lips. It was a hungry kiss. It was an ‘I want you right now’ kiss.

“Is anyone else home?” said Even.

Isak shook his head.

“Eskild and Linn are out. It’s just you and me, baby,” said Isak.

“Until when?”

“We have at least two hours,” said Isak, kissing his neck.

“What do you wanna do?”

“Let’s fuck in the kitchen,” said Isak against Even’s neck.

“Hm. Kitchen? Kinky,” Even laughed, his hands trailing lower down Isak’s back.

“I always think of you when I’m in the kitchen.”

“Why? Cause I eat you good?”

“Oh my god,” Isak’s face flushed while Even burst out laughing.

“What?”

“No! It’s because you made me spend time in the kitchen and cook and shit. I actually enjoy eating now,” said Isak.

“I’m glad you enjoy eating, baby. That’s very important,” said Even, pressing a kiss to Isak’s forehead.

“Even.”

“Yes?”

“Can we have sex now?” said Isak. “I got very horny looking at you filling my fridge.”

“Oh, is that what gets you going now?” Even smiled.

“I get very horny when people take care of me and buy me food. You know that.”

“I do know that,” Even laughed before reaching down to unzip Isak’s pants.

“Yeah very very horny.”

“I’ll take care of you baby,” Even whispered against his neck. “Gonna make you feel good.”

“Yes please.”

.

It was only after twenty minutes of intense lovemaking in the kitchen that Isak remembered that they weren’t completely alone in the apartment. Someone was studying in their living room with their headphones on because they couldn’t concentrate in their own apartment. But the truth was that they kept coming back for Isak’s salad dressing.

That same someone was in the living room when a very naked Even picked up a very naked Isak and clumsily led them to the bedroom. Someone was right there eating salad with their headphones on when they both realized that they weren’t alone.

“Really?” Magnus groaned. “Right in front of my salad?!”

**Author's Note:**

> here is the commercial it was inspired from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TBUV8O4Jl7w 
> 
> I have very unhealthy eating habits myself but writing this made me buy strawberries today haha. i wanted to write a story in which Isak does the chasing, so this happened. Hope you liked it.  
> Apparently, I make you guys cry a lot, so this was my attempt to make you laugh. Hope I did <3 
> 
> The IWDIA update should be up tomorrow or the day after that. *hugssss*


End file.
